just another manic monday

i will start by saying that today was the day for invading creatures....huge lizard and frog in the shower, baby tarantula in one of the bedrooms, and HUGE tarantula on the gate. this thing was as big as my full hand...i never would have guessed how much like a rodent these things look like in person....completely hairy and thick, i don't even know how it is classified as a spider. one of the guys caught it and let it go....the blurry picture shows the relative size...it was massive.

i was the only intern assigned to group work today, so i spent the morning unloading trailers of 50 and 100 lbs of rice, beans, and protein drinks. MOH feeds 12,000 children EVERY DAY. how great is that? it was me, cadrak, the NC guys...jason, john, grant, and james and a bunch of the haitian workers...over 105 degrees outside, even hotter in the warehouse. we got a lot done, but it was quite the sweaty mess along the way. both my ankles are swollen f/ some kind of biting ants that the warehouse if filled with. all the while, cadrak taught me more Haitian history. he is a wealth of knowledge and has an unassuming honesty about him that i especially appreciate.

we took a long lunch break and i helped wiki with an english philosophy assignment he had to do. i thought it was hard even though english is my first language!

we went into the village cabaret around 1....me, the NC guys, Cadrak, and another Cadrak that also works here. i will spell his name Sadrak to make it easier. i know sadrak bc he is a translator in the clinic and he also just finished his first year of medical school. i feel so bad for him bc he is unable to pay for next year, so he has to stop med school. he said to me, "i can't do it, so you have to do it. don't be a doctor who just studies studies studies. be a doctor who loves people." very genuine.

we rode to the village in the shawshank truck and the market was going on so things were a little crazy. bc there were only 7 of us we had a lot of freedom to walk around the market. sadrak made me stay w/ him the whole time bc i was the only girl, but i didn't mind bc he is nice to talk to. i've been wondering a lot about voodoo down here, so he basically taught me about that for an hour while the other guys looked around and evangelized through cadrak's translations. voodoo is fascinating, interesting, and disturbing all at the same time:

Catholicism is the major religion of Haiti, although it has been so intertwined with voodoo and folk practices that it is barely discernable as catholicism as we know it. as a side note, i've sensed a lot of anti-catholicism since i've been here...."you know, catholics worship Mary!" and apparently there are two distinct groups: catholics and Christians. this struck me as odd, bc i've always considered myself both. i still do. learning how catholicism has been bastardized by voodoo, however, has shown some light on these sentiments.

sadrak explained to me that voodoo is still widely practiced and that Catholic priests and voodoo priest are one in the same in haiti. he told me that sometimes people have to sacrifice their babies to be absolved or cured...other times they drink potions of urine and other things. he told me that "priests are constantly putting spells on people. sometimes at night the voodoo priests come out and turn sinners into rodents." he also explained to me that he had a friend in med school who was the smartest in the class, so the classmates went to the voodoo priest to do something to him bc they were jealous. he was tempted by a beautiful women to read this book which had a voodoo spell in it that made him go blind. he was only cured when he went to another catholic priest who performed and exorcism of sorts...but it was painful and there was fire involved (some stuff lost in translation). He also told me that he grew up going to the Catholic school and he was always taught to make the sign of the cross, until later on he found out that it was evil, so he doesn't do it anymore. i asked him what it meant but he said he didn't want to tell me bc it was too bad and bc my heart was "innocent". i said something about the vatican and he said that they were just like voodoo priests too. he said, "did you ever notice how priests whisper when they make the sign of the cross? they are whispering spells and curses when they do that." he said that some catholics are Christians and some are not. also, that Catholics in the states are different than catholics in Haiti. there are catholic churches and voodoo temples and they are one in the same, except for the fact that the temples are dirtier. some of this stuff sounded so crazy to me, but he said it all so matter-of-factly that i was captivated by his every word. he truly believed the components of voodoo, while at the same time recognizing that it was inherently evil and wrong. sadrak is very intelligent and well-educated, thus this isn't a case of poor man's desperate superstitions. he despises it, but he doesn't disbelieve it. it is merely a fact of life in haiti. just another thing that i will probably never understand. sadrak and i are trying to get to work together tomorrow, so maybe by the evening i will know a little more...

back to the market. we made our way to the place called Grace House which is in the midst of the slums and no longer visited by the groups. cadrak and sadrak were a little hesitant about letting us go, but one of the guys was insistant so we ended up heading over. it is the type of place where people are peeing in the streets and children are taking care of children and people look like they're dying on the sides of the roads. the grace house is (was?) supported by MOH and was described to me as a place where people go to die. kind of like a hospice but with no nurses and barely enough food to eat. actually i don't know what it provides other than a roof to cover over 50 of the dying and forgotten. the place itself is mainly one big room w/ a space to cook and one or two beds. it was absolutely filthy, there were bugs everywhere, starving dogs running around, people laying on the ground in pain. there were some children around, so while the guys were ministering and giving out kreyol bibles, i took some time to play w/ the kids. they all seemed a little scared at first. one of the little boys looked like he had been burned and was wrapped in a bandage around his chest. there was another boy who was quiet and looked weak...it wasn't until is started to tickle him that i realized that he was merely a skeleton in a child's t-shirt. none of the kids had eaten in a while so we gave them some mangos from the market. the whole scene was heartbreaking, yet in the midst of it all, kids are kids, and they all manage to laugh and smile. i am constantly reminded of how strong kids are and how they are able to appreciate even the smallest things in life. it amazes me.

after leaving grace house, we traveled to Good Samaritan orphanage where i had some more kid time. the little kids were eating, so i found some of the older girls and worked on my french with them. they giggle every time i pronounce something wrong, it's really entertaining for them! they also liked taking pictures of their best model poses. we played with the kids a bit more, the guys told bible stories, cadrak fell asleep on a bench, the girls tangled up my hair, and then it was time to go...

when we got back i walked around the compound a bit which was a bad idea in the heat, but beautiful anyways. i thought about how hard it will be to leave in 2 weeks and how painful it is to think of never seeing some of these people again. i really appreciate the haitian unbridled honestly and i've become close with some of the workers here. i've learned so much from them and they've really opened their hearts to me. part of me wants to distance myself a bit so the goodbye isn't so hard, but i don't know if that is being cowardly or practical. i guess i will have to deal with it when the time comes...

i'm in the clinic the next 4 days, i really hope i'm w/ sadrak again tomorrow.

i will probably have nightmares about tarantulas tonight. peace and bonswa :)