last tuesday on the mission

good news, mal is feeling a bit better this evening...looks like the meds are working already. last night was a long night with the twins...between the 2 of them i was up about once every hour. it is exciting though bc it means they are healthy enough to drink. i'm so happy that the mission was able to adopt them...they are very lucky. i'm also grateful to even have a tiny role in the first few weeks of their lives. tonight i am on second shift which means i go to bed early and then i am on twin patrol from 1am-8am. they're so incredibly adorable, i don't mind sacrificing some sleep!

i spent some time talking to rachel (director of hope house) last night and she was explaining to me that it was rough at the hope house this year. there was an orphan named marenda that had been rescued as a child bc she had been left in a trash dumpster that had been lit on fire. her body was half covered in burns and she had a severe bone deformity or disease in her legs that made it difficult to walk (perhaps the reason why she was left to die). no one really knew what was wrong with her bc haiti does not have the testing that she needed, but she had been improving really well. in november she started to get sick with a cold that she couldn't shake and it seemed like she was beginning to get depressed. there were a series of tests that she needed to get done, but they were so hard to get that she could only get one at a time. meanwhile she was constantly getting worse, to the point which no one could touch her and it was even painful to turn over on the bed. in january, while they were still waiting on two more tests, she passed away at age 16. she had known pain and suffering her entire short life. they never found out what was wrong with her bc haiti doesn't do autopsies, but it could have been something entirely treatable had they known what it was. naturally it was a huge loss for the mission and just another of the many frustrations due to lack of resources. what is merely a prescription in the states may be a death sentence in haiti.

a side note on burns...many many patients who come into the clinic have burn scars from their childhood. brad explained to me that these are very common in haiti for multiple reasons...first, there are burn pits everywhere. bc there is no waste disposal system, most haitians just burn all their trash. coupled with the fact that i've seen children barely old enough to walk alone on the sides of the streets, it is not surprising that so many adults have burn scars. also, burning is used as punishment, as well as in voodoo rituals. in fact, a haitian woman in NYC was just arrested for burning her baby after she laid him in a circle of kerosene which she lit as part of a voodoo ritual.

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today i was assigned to a group and we went to the beach. it was a beautiful day and the sun was strong. they are telling me that i am starting to look like a haitian. cody, roger, and i went out on a canoe and went snorkeling at the coral reefs. the water is bright torquoise and the corals were beautiful purples and oranges and blues...i can't believe that nature can make such radiant colors and they are hidden away on the ocean floor. we saw some crazy-looking fish and one of the haitians dove to bottom and picked me some really cool looking coral....soft when it was underwater and then almost instantly solid once it was exposed to air. we swam around for nearly an hour...i must have rubbed against one of the poisonous ones bc my arm started stinging and a patch of my skin started bubbling at the surface...it felt like someone was putting a lit match to my forearm. the bubble blisters stung in the salt water, but were barely noticeable once i was out. we canoed alongside the mountains and it was one of the most beautiful sites i have ever seen.

afterwards we went to the site of the new property, and as we walked through the rows and rows of tall banana trees, nearly 50 children appeared from all directions. they just come out of no where, half dressed with no shoes with their hands raised up for you to pick them up while the others grab your hands and legs. from what i've seen, it seems like the people worst of are those in the countryside. it is most often where i see children with protruding rib cages, swollen bellies, orange hair, massive skin infections. the little girl that i was holding had only a skirt on and she was sweating from head to toe. i could feel her raspy, clogged breathing with her naked back against my arms. it was a lung infection that you didn't need a stethoscope to hear. some of the other kids had really croupy coughs...but they all just went on like they had not a care in the world, just happy to have strangers "love on them" as they call it, albeit for a tiny amount of time.

i'm off to bed to steal some sleep before my baby shift. tomorrow i have a day off but i will probably spend it in the clinic with dr. jenifer. i can't believe that i leave so soon. i'm excited to see my family...it has almost been 7 months, but it will be so hard to leave. i've taken in so much in such a short amount of time, i don't know if i've digested it all quite enough. somehow i feel that many of the images that i've witnessed will be forever engrained on my brain and in my heart. i only hope that the associated emotion will remain salient far beyond my immediate memory.

the generator died today. perhaps we will have to heat up the babies' formula by candlelight? i will plan on sweating through my clothes again! peace and bonswa...:)