no straight answer

new record today...19 people in the mini tap tap. we had church this morning and all the little girls were dressed in their princess dresses and the boys in church outfits that were either too small or too big. for children's mass we did a coloring project and the two little girls that i had met at the hospital, sumetine and syndie, each made me a picture to bring back to my "mummy". wiki and cadrak had some ceremony to go to, so we came back to the compound around noon. it was so hot and there was no way to escape the heat and humidity...no electricity, no running water... so mal and i decided to take a nap until they came. bad idea to take a nap in the middle of the day... we both woke up completely soaked through all our clothes and in drenched sheets. yuck.

we planned on going to gwo papa poule for lunch, but it was around 2 so they were out of everything...wiki and cadrak took us out to the village and we stopped at Good Samaritan orphanage bc it is sarah's last day here and she wanted to say goodbye. i was able to see carnesise for the 4th time this week! we then went to yoltay's for lunch...the place with the skinny dogs running around and where you can hear the animals actually getting slaughtered. they were out of a lot of stuff too, but they had beef and i shared cow liver with wiki. i didn't love it. i looked exactly like the liver from the cadaver i dissected this year.

we spent a long time talking there bc it was sarah's last day w/ wiki and cadrak and it was sad bc we've all become really close. they're like our own personal body guards, brothers, and friends.

throughout this entire trip i've been asking different people questions about what they thought about haiti's leaders past and present...what they think about haiti's situation. i haven't written about it yet bc i wanted to have asked enough people to form some sort of general conclusion, but what i've realized is that EVERYONE has a different opinion. starting with paul farmer, then dr. cheryl, then brad, then as many haitians as i possibly could....each had different opinions on all the leaders. the only consensus was that preval doesn't do much. even cadrak and wiki, who are basically attached at the hip, had vastly different opinions on haiti's past.

it was actually pretty interesting as we delved into haiti's "situation" bc it got a little tense between cadrak and wiki. cadrak had explained that during papa and baby doc's rule it was good bc there was stict justice for criminals, but if you said anything bad about them people would come to your house and shoot or torture you. but overall it was safer. he said that he liked aristide bc he pushed hard for education and that all of haiti got books and even the poor people could pursue an education. but he pissed off all the rich people. cadrak explained that he wasn't perfect but that he was a good leader overall. he said that he would be friends with preval but he was a bad leader. he would not be friends with the devaliers but what they did worked. when wiki was able to give his two cents he said that aristide did some good things, but that he was "lucifer's secretary"...he was a catholic priest but under his reign there were lots of sacrifices....for example, if a person became educated and went to get a job, they would make a sacrifice (sometimes babies) to ensure a better future or to absolve them from a past sin (warped version of catholic penance). like the other sadrak had told me the other day, aristide was a follower of satan, thus haiti had been ruled by satan during aristide's reign. he explained that haiti's problems were not political, economical, or historical...rather, they were spiritual in nature. there is an internal war between satan (voodoo, catholicism) and christianity and it is the root of haiti's struggle. the entire time wiki was talking cadrak was interrupting in disagreement. he said "how do you know that aristide was lucifer's secretary? did you see it with your own eyes? yes, voodoo exists and there are bad spirits in the sky at night, but aristide led the nation, not satan. haiti is not just corrupt, the whole world is corrupt. you can only really believe what you see with your own eyes bc everyone says something different." like most/all of the haitians that i have met, both are strict christians, yet acknowledge the existence and reality of voodooism. it's weird, just bc you don't practice it doesn't preclude its existence. everyone believes in its evil, only some partake in it. no one denies its power. what i've learned more than anything as i've mined through the interpretation of haiti's past is to be wary of everything you hear. i came into this trip knowing only of paul farmer's interpretation which i had taken blindly as the truth. i now have seen vastly different opinions and who's to say what's right and what's wrong? who am i to say that it's foolish to think that aristide is lucifer's secretary? everyone has their faults, we all tend to want to see things through rose-colored glasses or the complete opposite. it is not so different from the way many view the past versus current u.s. presidency. of course we will never know the full truth about anything, but being aware of the fact that there is much i am unaware of is enough for me.

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have i mentioned how great wiki and cadrak are? they always let us do great things while at the same time being really protective. they don't get anything for taking us out and they don't have to, but they've never said no. we always have a really good time. we are leaving next sunday up to them, since it is my last day. it will be one of my saddest goodbyes.

there were 19 people squished onto a tiny tap tap on the way home. great way to meet total strangers! we hung around the venders a bit...i was gonna buy a machete for my dad, but i figured it might be impractical. they sell massive ones even to little kids. mal bought a walking cane that had carvings of bones and snakes and a skull...i'm pretty sure it is voodoo, but mal doesn't care...she doesn't believe in anything, good or bad. we joke about being the black sheeps on the mission bc she's a non-christian and i'm a catholic. it's funny how it's so hush hush. sarah leave tomorrow morning and mal and i are assigned to the school. we are editing a curriculum which will be the curriculum for all of haiti eventually, it's pretty cool. dr. cheryl informed us today that we will only be working til 12 tomorrow and then spending the afternoon cleaning our room. both mal and i are super sloppy...mal collects shells and rocks and things...she's a nature wild child. between the two of us, it's gotten pretty bad!

tuesday i go to the beach with a group and i'll be able to hang out with venna most of the day. i have wednesday off, clinic on thursday, construction on friday, hope house on saturday.

bonswaaaaaa.